いまブログなんかとかを書く時間はないと知るけど
やはりなにかを言いたいな…ちょっとＲＡＮＤＯＭね（笑
いろいろなことが過ごしたね
変わっていくことがたくさんあり、変わらないこともたくさんだった
私も…まぁ、いつものようにね
相変わらずに、同じなものに悩まれてるね。また答えを探してださないな。
でもこのままでいいと思うよ。
早く進んでなくて、ゆっくりいろいろをはっきり考えてみると。
愛情というものをカゴと呼べば間違わないね
自由とか本物の自分とか、きっと、なにかを失うだろう。
でもやはりなんか、最近私も誰かの鳥になりたいな
一度だけ、かごの中で生きたくて、誰かのそばに束縛されて欲しくて、誰かの笑顔を命を続ける力として生きて見て欲しいね。
その”誰か”はいつか来るのかな。
待望してるよね ｗｗ
2009年11月8日 星期日
2009年10月8日 星期四
ㄑㄏㄋㄒ
我自己知道 "事出必有因"
從別人的身上我終於看清自己過去有多矛盾
簡直是又要牛兒好，又要牛兒不吃草...
但說真的
人做任何事情一定都是"有目的"的
差別只在於，這個目的是出於心計、還是心情
即使我說是出於心情
會被相信嗎
一再告訴自己不可以
但果然我的自制力還是太差了
一步一步
似乎已經不是我想說一句"算了"就沒事了
我已經做好再次受傷的心理準備了
在結果揭曉之前請容許我盡情放肆吧...
------------------------------------------------------
今天對話
發現不再有悸動了
我不想忘記你
所以我會記得快樂的部份
過去所有不開心
不知為什麼就算努力想也想不起來
從別人的身上我終於看清自己過去有多矛盾
簡直是又要牛兒好，又要牛兒不吃草...
但說真的
人做任何事情一定都是"有目的"的
差別只在於，這個目的是出於心計、還是心情
即使我說是出於心情
會被相信嗎
一再告訴自己不可以
但果然我的自制力還是太差了
一步一步
似乎已經不是我想說一句"算了"就沒事了
我已經做好再次受傷的心理準備了
在結果揭曉之前請容許我盡情放肆吧...
------------------------------------------------------
今天對話
發現不再有悸動了
我不想忘記你
所以我會記得快樂的部份
過去所有不開心
不知為什麼就算努力想也想不起來
2009年10月6日 星期二
2009年10月5日 星期一
2009年10月4日 星期日
Long time no Blog
haha I just realized I havent being blogging for a really really long time...
summer already ended!!!!
***speaking of summer***
a lot happened near the end. well not like something really big or pivotal, but it did change me...
the biggest change to me is hairstyle. I don't know if you feel the same way, but after a major outlook change...you just feel different!! like...like all renewed!!! haha or maybe it's just me?
and 超突然想到 梁詠祺的歌
"我剪短了我的髮~ 剪斷了分岔~ 剪一地不被愛的分岔"
idk i kinda feel like i really did forget about some old stuff after i cut my hair short
haha. I'll take it as a good change.
***speaking of new school year***
uh yeah. basically UTA took up all my time.
its fun though ^^ i'm glad that all the officers are chill ppl and its easy to work with them.
and i met a bunch of new kids during orientation and stuff
we got kinda close this passing weekend. they are really chill kids and very easy to get along with. yeah no doubt i love them.
but idk. i still feel....WEIRD.......
its realy awkward to be called 大姐....like if you know me, i'm the last person you would call 大姐
我超膽小、又愛哭、又迷迷糊糊的
haha and i enjoy 塞ㄋㄞ connie mommy!!!!!!*stare*
but i guess it should be a good point to start learning 獨立自主 and stand strong by my own!!!!!
...wow.
i feel so different now. LOL
so thats basically it.
oh and. classes are bitches i would never like them.
***speaking of tonight***
its 中秋節...
so sorry that i left my brother home and go out dinner with friends...
i did invite him over....but....sigh
and its really really nice....to have hotpot at yovnie's place
soo good....sooo satisfied... soooo home-ish feeling T.T
the theme todays is "being awkward but cute". haha
unfortunately wayne has to leave first for work
and since we dont have anything better to do (sorry i really cant think of any icebreaker games LOLOLOLL) we head out to tea garden cuz everyone was suddenly craving for 奶茶三兄弟
then...we drink tea. chat. play cards. and more talking.
and i sorta have a little sentimental moment. and a really really meaningful talk with ppl...
真的
如果沒有你們在身邊，今天的我就無法站在這裡了...
我會繼續加油的... 有了你們的鼓勵，我又充滿了幹勁！
summer already ended!!!!
***speaking of summer***
a lot happened near the end. well not like something really big or pivotal, but it did change me...
the biggest change to me is hairstyle. I don't know if you feel the same way, but after a major outlook change...you just feel different!! like...like all renewed!!! haha or maybe it's just me?
and 超突然想到 梁詠祺的歌
"我剪短了我的髮~ 剪斷了分岔~ 剪一地不被愛的分岔"
idk i kinda feel like i really did forget about some old stuff after i cut my hair short
haha. I'll take it as a good change.
***speaking of new school year***
uh yeah. basically UTA took up all my time.
its fun though ^^ i'm glad that all the officers are chill ppl and its easy to work with them.
and i met a bunch of new kids during orientation and stuff
we got kinda close this passing weekend. they are really chill kids and very easy to get along with. yeah no doubt i love them.
but idk. i still feel....WEIRD.......
its realy awkward to be called 大姐....like if you know me, i'm the last person you would call 大姐
我超膽小、又愛哭、又迷迷糊糊的
haha and i enjoy 塞ㄋㄞ connie mommy!!!!!!*stare*
but i guess it should be a good point to start learning 獨立自主 and stand strong by my own!!!!!
...wow.
i feel so different now. LOL
so thats basically it.
oh and. classes are bitches i would never like them.
***speaking of tonight***
its 中秋節...
so sorry that i left my brother home and go out dinner with friends...
i did invite him over....but....sigh
and its really really nice....to have hotpot at yovnie's place
soo good....sooo satisfied... soooo home-ish feeling T.T
the theme todays is "being awkward but cute". haha
unfortunately wayne has to leave first for work
and since we dont have anything better to do (sorry i really cant think of any icebreaker games LOLOLOLL) we head out to tea garden cuz everyone was suddenly craving for 奶茶三兄弟
then...we drink tea. chat. play cards. and more talking.
and i sorta have a little sentimental moment. and a really really meaningful talk with ppl...
真的
如果沒有你們在身邊，今天的我就無法站在這裡了...
我會繼續加油的... 有了你們的鼓勵，我又充滿了幹勁！
2009年8月10日 星期一
a short post with lots of stuff to include...
I figured maybe I should update my blog with some of my summer life..
so basically it's work. M-F 9ish-5, very typical work hour.
the work is okay though I'm kinda gettnig sick of it...LOL
then frequent meetups with friends from high school and college and cosplay friends.
this is the best part of all...
what else can be better than hanging out with these lovely kids?
and being home. though I still have frequent uhm, disagreements with my parents
being at home itself is impressive enough
I shall say I'm enjoying life pretty much.
maybe more than any day back in the states...
why do I keep going back and forth?
still can't make up my mind...
so basically it's work. M-F 9ish-5, very typical work hour.
the work is okay though I'm kinda gettnig sick of it...LOL
then frequent meetups with friends from high school and college and cosplay friends.
this is the best part of all...
what else can be better than hanging out with these lovely kids?
and being home. though I still have frequent uhm, disagreements with my parents
being at home itself is impressive enough
I shall say I'm enjoying life pretty much.
maybe more than any day back in the states...
why do I keep going back and forth?
still can't make up my mind...
2009年6月25日 星期四
2009年6月21日 星期日
Summer＊
Summer 2009 thus far is treating me pretty well
I did my hair (it's all nice & smooth & shiny noww :D love it!)
met up with my lovely close friends (屁孩幫) for a few times
(hopefully i will see other cuties as well and yeah, i'm sure i will be seeing 屁孩幫 a lot)
had a couple of family dinners already
and most importantly, get my internship settled and ready to start tomorrow!! woot!
all these happened within the first half week of life in taiwan!!!!
quite amazing huh :)
however, a side effect of having all the fun / seeing lots of old friends crammed in a short period of time is that I actually feel kind of restless.
not like physicall; more mentally unrest.
after getting into college and having to start thinking about future career, intern, part-time jobs etc, each of us have different errands and different schedule
it's harder to have time to hang out with those lovely kids... at least it's harder than last summer or the summer before.
last summer my grandmother past away; the summer before i was supposedly preparing for SAT. both summers were supposed to be pretty busy, but i can still somehow manage to play around.
however, i felt different this summer.
i feel more responsibilities and more obligations in my internship, and in many other stuff- spending time with family members, learning more talents and things, hanging out with and getting to know college friends who are relatively new to my life more, etc.
furthermore, even though it doesn't seem like much a difference before, but as we all became college students and more engaged in our personal things.
seriously, all the time i wasn't in taiwan really matters.
i missed out on lots of things, and they are not easy to compensate.
however, i need to realize the fact that eventually, i will be come more engaged in the life in US...these lovely kids, no matter how much i love them, would eventually become a minor part of my life. no matter i wish it to happen or not.
i know this is eventually going to happen. and i think we are all starting to get a taste of it--can we still maintain our intimate friendship even if we can't see each other/ even talk to each other frequently? can we still be as close without feeling the need of trying to satisfy some certain things? is the bond between us tight enough?
i have faith in myself. i have faith in you guys as well.
"真的很開心可以又聚在一起
雖然感覺今年大家都有其他必須要做的事情
好像不太能跟去年一樣天天膩在一起(??(去年真的很可怕
不過該完成的預定還是一樣都不能少啦wwwwwww
不管怎樣請好好享受這個暑假XDDDDDDDDDDDD
不要在跑趴囉
(就說沒有了"
thank you!!!!!!
I did my hair (it's all nice & smooth & shiny noww :D love it!)
met up with my lovely close friends (屁孩幫) for a few times
(hopefully i will see other cuties as well and yeah, i'm sure i will be seeing 屁孩幫 a lot)
had a couple of family dinners already
and most importantly, get my internship settled and ready to start tomorrow!! woot!
all these happened within the first half week of life in taiwan!!!!
quite amazing huh :)
however, a side effect of having all the fun / seeing lots of old friends crammed in a short period of time is that I actually feel kind of restless.
not like physicall; more mentally unrest.
after getting into college and having to start thinking about future career, intern, part-time jobs etc, each of us have different errands and different schedule
it's harder to have time to hang out with those lovely kids... at least it's harder than last summer or the summer before.
last summer my grandmother past away; the summer before i was supposedly preparing for SAT. both summers were supposed to be pretty busy, but i can still somehow manage to play around.
however, i felt different this summer.
i feel more responsibilities and more obligations in my internship, and in many other stuff- spending time with family members, learning more talents and things, hanging out with and getting to know college friends who are relatively new to my life more, etc.
furthermore, even though it doesn't seem like much a difference before, but as we all became college students and more engaged in our personal things.
seriously, all the time i wasn't in taiwan really matters.
i missed out on lots of things, and they are not easy to compensate.
however, i need to realize the fact that eventually, i will be come more engaged in the life in US...these lovely kids, no matter how much i love them, would eventually become a minor part of my life. no matter i wish it to happen or not.
i know this is eventually going to happen. and i think we are all starting to get a taste of it--can we still maintain our intimate friendship even if we can't see each other/ even talk to each other frequently? can we still be as close without feeling the need of trying to satisfy some certain things? is the bond between us tight enough?
i have faith in myself. i have faith in you guys as well.
"真的很開心可以又聚在一起
雖然感覺今年大家都有其他必須要做的事情
好像不太能跟去年一樣天天膩在一起(??(去年真的很可怕
不過該完成的預定還是一樣都不能少啦wwwwwww
不管怎樣請好好享受這個暑假XDDDDDDDDDDDD
(就說沒有了"thank you!!!!!!
2009年6月3日 星期三
????????
有時候在想
自己一直堅持到現在的許多看法、信念和做人處事的態度
是不是其實都是一場空、一場錯？
我所認知的世界，是否其實本質是完全不同的？
得不到自己想要的東西，是不是因為一直有什麼出錯了而我渾然不覺呢？
先不談這個!
I'd like to make a to-do list for summer as well ^^ (inspired by Claririce!!)
I will add more to the list if I think of any ^^
&& everyone please help check the result of my work in next fall loh!!!!
自己一直堅持到現在的許多看法、信念和做人處事的態度
是不是其實都是一場空、一場錯？
我所認知的世界，是否其實本質是完全不同的？
得不到自己想要的東西，是不是因為一直有什麼出錯了而我渾然不覺呢？
先不談這個!
I'd like to make a to-do list for summer as well ^^ (inspired by Claririce!!)
- Internship
應該是這summer最重要的事...
由於親友的幫忙..有幸能到Academia Sinica 的實驗室實習
希望自己能夠多加學習~!! - Driving Lesson
目標是在暑假結束前學會開車+考台灣駕照!!
&&回美國趕快考到美國駕照~ - Cosplay
這半年很久沒有從事這項我很喜愛的活動了~!!
還有許久沒見的朋友們^__^
當然，從這項之後連帶的就是Make up && Hair styling && Sewing
超興奮喔☆ - 琵琶 / 古箏
不用多說X) 該繼續的還是要繼續:) - Raggae
一直很想學的Raggae dance!! 希望這暑假有機會能接觸些皮毛囉^^
人生就是要浪費在夢想實踐! - Drawing / Designing / Writing
上大學後就中斷的藝術/人文創作
希望有機會可以重新catchup...
多看好書、欣賞好作品、激發新創作靈感
精神糧食是很重要的 =) - Connections with friends, old or new
不論是從出國後就漸漸疏遠的國中朋友 or 聚少離多(?)的Cos圈朋友 or 上大學後較少連絡的高中朋友 or 大學的新朋友~
大家有在台灣的話，就讓我們好好享受夏日時光吧!!!
我一直都為自己過去的相對消極感到遺憾~ 也向自己發誓要改變這點^_^!! - Being with family
嗯. 希望我愛的人們都不孤單 :)... - Kitchen / Cooking Skills && Housework
我的目標是要當個賢慧的過動兒啦(大笑)
讓自己多一點生活上的sense吧!! - 健康美麗的 Lifestyle
這項包括了 減肥+改善生活作息+調整飲食習慣+強健體魄(?)+心靈力量 etc...
"美麗"的定義是一種態度，一種對自己負責的態度
我想每個生命都是該要健康而美麗的!
這件事已經說要做了很久..卻一直拖延著沒有開始
我會加油 ^^
I will add more to the list if I think of any ^^
&& everyone please help check the result of my work in next fall loh!!!!
2009年6月2日 星期二
夏風吹起
今天天氣終於難得地放晴了...!!!
一陣陣涼爽的風捎來夏天的手信~
讓人很想唱首輕快的歌 :)
暗示著挑燈夜戰苦讀的日子即將結束，接下來是挑燈夜戰玩樂的開始!!
(不良示範!!)
前鎮子Luke北加的朋友Morgan來玩~昨天Thomas Ariel的表妹Daphne也從北加來訪
一大群人就跑去一家新的餐廳"冒險"
多久了? 多久大家沒有這樣一起吃飯了?
感覺經過了很長一段迷迷糊糊的時間
很高興最後大家還是能坐在一起吃飯打屁
就暫時不管其他的事了...
我很享受昨晚的快樂與滿足:)
~你說的每個笑話我都笑了 是你變幽默還是我變快樂
好久不見你說我大不相同 偷偷告訴你 我的心去整型了
不想對每件事都那麼嚴格 弄得全世界好像只剩挫折
愛一朵花不猜它能開多久 放寬的心情 把什麼都變美了
想要光著腳丫在樹上唱歌
好多事物全被縮小了
心裡不想放的就去了算了
讓太陽把臉龐給曬得紅通通
想要吹著口哨在樹上唱歌
要像開往遠方的火車
可以那麼輕快地穿過山洞
大樹上還很空 你要不要陪我~
---郭靜 在樹上唱歌~
一陣陣涼爽的風捎來夏天的手信~
讓人很想唱首輕快的歌 :)
暗示著挑燈夜戰苦讀的日子即將結束，接下來是挑燈夜戰玩樂的開始!!
(不良示範!!)
前鎮子Luke北加的朋友Morgan來玩~昨天Thomas Ariel的表妹Daphne也從北加來訪
一大群人就跑去一家新的餐廳"冒險"
多久了? 多久大家沒有這樣一起吃飯了?
感覺經過了很長一段迷迷糊糊的時間
很高興最後大家還是能坐在一起吃飯打屁
就暫時不管其他的事了...
我很享受昨晚的快樂與滿足:)
~你說的每個笑話我都笑了 是你變幽默還是我變快樂
好久不見你說我大不相同 偷偷告訴你 我的心去整型了
不想對每件事都那麼嚴格 弄得全世界好像只剩挫折
愛一朵花不猜它能開多久 放寬的心情 把什麼都變美了
想要光著腳丫在樹上唱歌
好多事物全被縮小了
心裡不想放的就去了算了
讓太陽把臉龐給曬得紅通通
想要吹著口哨在樹上唱歌
要像開往遠方的火車
可以那麼輕快地穿過山洞
大樹上還很空 你要不要陪我~
---郭靜 在樹上唱歌~
2009年5月28日 星期四
幾首歌，讓你帶回去
"我陪你等天亮 擁抱著一起分享
能放心的哭一場 是再微笑的力量
只有你明白我的瘋狂 不管故事有多長
世界對我太善良 這一路上有你 我變得堅強
你知道我多傻 在你面前從來不用逞強
聽我說說話 讓我靠一下
我們都是這樣 想要幸福卻都跌跌撞撞
可是不要怕 有我在身旁" --陪你等天亮
"我從不相信自己 也無法面對現實
當生命失去了光 我就失去了方向
前路依然很模糊 要掙脫許多束縛
你讓我依靠 讓我堅強 你守護在我身旁
每當我需要依靠你 你一定會在這裡
有你的地方就有陽光 你總會在我身旁
當我還不夠堅強 推翻命運的圍牆
你還是和我在一起 給我無限的勇氣
路依然走得困難 當我變成了負擔
你依然把我緊緊拉著 我就是最幸福的" --總在我身旁
幾首歌，讓你帶回去。
最後一句話
＂君子之交淡如水，小人之交甘若醴＂
這樣挺好。
想開了一點之後
我自己也搞不懂我為何要因為你而不斷感到受傷?
如果我不快樂了那我就會懂得要真的放手了
在那之前就讓我放肆崇拜快樂吧!
2009年5月25日 星期一
It's late-May
late-may = close to graduation = close to the time when everything changes
maybe that's why i always feel so crappy around this time every year...
there's a lot of things that I just couldn't simply let go;
I did try to train myself though. After all, nothing can be still and not changing; I need to be prapared.
I guess I just couldn't let go. I just don't know that the day will be this soon.
I thought the world will still be the same the next time I open my eyes.
I thought the people around me now will still be the same the next time I come back.
Apparently not.
the speed that things are changing is much faster then I anticipated...
so I got lost.
the sense of safety. the sense of belonging. the sense of stability--all crashed together.
All the good times and all those memories trapped me.
I really don't know.........how to move on...............
maybe that's why i always feel so crappy around this time every year...
there's a lot of things that I just couldn't simply let go;
I did try to train myself though. After all, nothing can be still and not changing; I need to be prapared.
I guess I just couldn't let go. I just don't know that the day will be this soon.
I thought the world will still be the same the next time I open my eyes.
I thought the people around me now will still be the same the next time I come back.
Apparently not.
the speed that things are changing is much faster then I anticipated...
so I got lost.
the sense of safety. the sense of belonging. the sense of stability--all crashed together.
All the good times and all those memories trapped me.
I really don't know.........how to move on...............
2009年5月22日 星期五
Lucky Kid?
帶著一張被海水洗花了的臉
和被疲倦厭世上緊了發條的心臟
將包包隨意扔在已經很亂的房間
讓蓮蓬頭代替我哭泣
那時候腦海裡浮現的是
我無法再奢求、無法依賴的溫柔
刪除了脆弱的言語後便狼狽地關掉視窗
心酸或許、心疼可能、更多是恐懼
如果笑容即將成為回憶的紀念品
那麼即使是一個拍肩的問候
都會變成刺心的疼痛
誰沒有壓力？那真的不是原因
令人快要抓狂的是看著我的快樂即將失事
看著近在咫尺的平穩即將崩潰
而我卻束手無策
太多無解的疑問在喧囂
在我心中纏繞成裊裊炊煙
誠意上達，直達天聽？
你說不如就活得開心一點
想不通的問題，就讓它們去吧
只看著夢想前行
聽著你的頭頭是道
讓我興起了想甩掉一切去冒險的念頭
是不是時候了，給自己一個轉捩點？
或許這個時候遇上你
是一個轉機？
但我不願再去多想、再去深陷
同樣的錯誤不想再犯一次
同樣的痛苦不想再嚐一次
原來很多時候，我們都需要向現實低頭
和被疲倦厭世上緊了發條的心臟
將包包隨意扔在已經很亂的房間
讓蓮蓬頭代替我哭泣
那時候腦海裡浮現的是
我無法再奢求、無法依賴的溫柔
刪除了脆弱的言語後便狼狽地關掉視窗
心酸或許、心疼可能、更多是恐懼
如果笑容即將成為回憶的紀念品
那麼即使是一個拍肩的問候
都會變成刺心的疼痛
誰沒有壓力？那真的不是原因
令人快要抓狂的是看著我的快樂即將失事
看著近在咫尺的平穩即將崩潰
而我卻束手無策
太多無解的疑問在喧囂
在我心中纏繞成裊裊炊煙
誠意上達，直達天聽？
你說不如就活得開心一點
想不通的問題，就讓它們去吧
只看著夢想前行
聽著你的頭頭是道
讓我興起了想甩掉一切去冒險的念頭
是不是時候了，給自己一個轉捩點？
或許這個時候遇上你
是一個轉機？
但我不願再去多想、再去深陷
同樣的錯誤不想再犯一次
同樣的痛苦不想再嚐一次
原來很多時候，我們都需要向現實低頭
2009年5月20日 星期三
2009年5月7日 星期四
2009年5月4日 星期一
2009年5月3日 星期日
喘息
一晃眼...兩個禮拜就過去了
好漫長...
這兩個禮拜中間我寫了很多篇的blog
一方面也是在幫助自己理清思緒吧~
I think i'm doing a pretty good job regarding the things that i promised myself....
so i'm satisfied. and i guess you can say that i'm happy....not counting some minor things.
i laughed, i smiled, i hung out with friends, and i had fun.
and that's enough...
====================
好心疼看到朋友因為煩惱的事情變得憔悴了...
好希望自己說得出什麼安慰的話
能做些什麼有實際作用的幫助
可是除了默默地聽 默默地為你/妳焦急掉眼淚
我卻什麼也做不到....
可是我也不願意用冷漠、用疏離、用距離...來維持一份安定...
====================
有些事情拖久了
就越來越難開口了
有些我還想搞清楚的事
也想就乾脆算了
反正人生
本就是要帶點遺憾 才完美
好漫長...
這兩個禮拜中間我寫了很多篇的blog
一方面也是在幫助自己理清思緒吧~
I think i'm doing a pretty good job regarding the things that i promised myself....
so i'm satisfied. and i guess you can say that i'm happy....not counting some minor things.
i laughed, i smiled, i hung out with friends, and i had fun.
and that's enough...
====================
好心疼看到朋友因為煩惱的事情變得憔悴了...
好希望自己說得出什麼安慰的話
能做些什麼有實際作用的幫助
可是除了默默地聽 默默地為你/妳焦急掉眼淚
我卻什麼也做不到....
可是我也不願意用冷漠、用疏離、用距離...來維持一份安定...
====================
有些事情拖久了
就越來越難開口了
有些我還想搞清楚的事
也想就乾脆算了
反正人生
本就是要帶點遺憾 才完美
2009年4月29日 星期三
這是一篇很長的blog
i told clarice the other day that eventually i'm gonna blog about self-reflection...
and lots of deeper stuff
but i'm still in the process of trying to figure out what I really want to say and what conclusion that I finally get to...eventually a long (and perhaps organized?) post will come out =P
yeah lots of things...
let me just put down some points down so I won't forget to keep thinking about them in these days!! LOL
*與"自我認知"完全不同的自己: 接受自己的平凡和非凡與自我開發
*"星系理論": 角色認知 (haha i know i always come up with all those weird theory that probably only me can understand...so far i already have 泛舟理論 and 跳樓理論~!!)
*青鳥症候群與建立信心
yesterday I just felt a sudden impulse that I have to spend the time, all by myself, to think about those stuff RIGHT NOW or otherwise I will lose the best chance to challenge myself. well I still somehow let the chance slip. but i believe those ideas will come back to me soon =)
anyways i chose to write some random stuff...
not really related to college life. not something pleasant either haha so yeah you can choose to skip the next seciton.
******************************
昨晚我到了最近的最低潮吧~!
真有種爹不疼娘不愛的感覺
剛msn打出一行字，眼淚就隨著enter鍵掉下來
滿肚子流動的都是委屈
說出來或許幼稚，但的確是我很真實的感受
只要是為了我掏心掏肺的朋友
很多事情我都願意做 都願意冒險
可是我也很需要有人心疼...
我從來就不是一個會隱藏脆弱的人
我也不是一個有本事去強顏歡笑的人
我的脆弱、我的難過、我的七情六慾，全都攤在陽光下
只等著伯樂來抱抱我、拍拍我的頭
一邊流淚一邊告訴自己 要勇敢一點
可是我心裡卻不這麼認為
我想流淚不代表就是不勇敢、不堅強
不去隱藏難過、大方面對悲傷
何嘗又不是一種解脫、一種豁達？
不過我真的還不夠獨立、不夠強壯
一邊聽著鳳凰花開的路口一邊找老朋友聊天
"好久沒打電話聊聊了..."
[我知道你忙啦~!]
"嗯等考完midterms我們好好聊天吧"
[我等你:)]
...
"好久沒打電話給你了"
[你才知道!...你沒事吧?]
"我OK啦:)"
...
"天啊好久不見了!!!!!!"
[真的!!!等你回來!!!快回來!!!!]
...
我要為所有漸行漸遠的關係負責任...重新牽起我們的友誼
腦海中那個鳳凰花開的路口
都有著我最珍惜的老朋友/好朋友...
and lots of deeper stuff
but i'm still in the process of trying to figure out what I really want to say and what conclusion that I finally get to...eventually a long (and perhaps organized?) post will come out =P
yeah lots of things...
let me just put down some points down so I won't forget to keep thinking about them in these days!! LOL
*與"自我認知"完全不同的自己: 接受自己的平凡和非凡與自我開發
*"星系理論": 角色認知 (haha i know i always come up with all those weird theory that probably only me can understand...so far i already have 泛舟理論 and 跳樓理論~!!)
*青鳥症候群與建立信心
yesterday I just felt a sudden impulse that I have to spend the time, all by myself, to think about those stuff RIGHT NOW or otherwise I will lose the best chance to challenge myself. well I still somehow let the chance slip. but i believe those ideas will come back to me soon =)
anyways i chose to write some random stuff...
not really related to college life. not something pleasant either haha so yeah you can choose to skip the next seciton.
******************************
昨晚我到了最近的最低潮吧~!
真有種爹不疼娘不愛的感覺
剛msn打出一行字，眼淚就隨著enter鍵掉下來
滿肚子流動的都是委屈
說出來或許幼稚，但的確是我很真實的感受
只要是為了我掏心掏肺的朋友
很多事情我都願意做 都願意冒險
可是我也很需要有人心疼...
我從來就不是一個會隱藏脆弱的人
我也不是一個有本事去強顏歡笑的人
我的脆弱、我的難過、我的七情六慾，全都攤在陽光下
只等著伯樂來抱抱我、拍拍我的頭
一邊流淚一邊告訴自己 要勇敢一點
可是我心裡卻不這麼認為
我想流淚不代表就是不勇敢、不堅強
不去隱藏難過、大方面對悲傷
何嘗又不是一種解脫、一種豁達？
不過我真的還不夠獨立、不夠強壯
一邊聽著鳳凰花開的路口一邊找老朋友聊天
"好久沒打電話聊聊了..."
[我知道你忙啦~!]
"嗯等考完midterms我們好好聊天吧"
[我等你:)]
...
"好久沒打電話給你了"
[你才知道!...你沒事吧?]
"我OK啦:)"
...
"天啊好久不見了!!!!!!"
[真的!!!等你回來!!!快回來!!!!]
...
我要為所有漸行漸遠的關係負責任...重新牽起我們的友誼
腦海中那個鳳凰花開的路口
都有著我最珍惜的老朋友/好朋友...
2009年4月23日 星期四
樹洞 part 2
這兩天終於有機會跟朋友們好好聊聊自己最近的心事...
之前竟然完全沒有感覺
大概是跟"那個時候"一樣吧!!
太震驚太難過了，反而完全麻痺
好好聊過之後...才發現該煩惱事情竟然反過來了
原本一直想一直擔心的事，突然發現都只是胡思亂想的空穴來風
原本完全不想去碰不想改變的事，突然有了點變化...
哈哈 還真玄
我今天終於開始正視自己的心情了
當然昨天說的還是有效囉!
唉~~只能說，要說我完全不難過絕對是在騙人
不過一直難過也不是辦法，你說是吧?
要一直對自己灌輸快樂的觀念~
趕快get it over with，然後開始新的生活吧!!
最近好像很多很多事情都會有改變
不管是我周圍的人事物
還是我自己....
就靜觀其變~期待嶄新的未來!!!
也請你們一起給我意見 期待新的我囉=)?
之前竟然完全沒有感覺
大概是跟"那個時候"一樣吧!!
太震驚太難過了，反而完全麻痺
好好聊過之後...才發現該煩惱事情竟然反過來了
原本一直想一直擔心的事，突然發現都只是胡思亂想的空穴來風
原本完全不想去碰不想改變的事，突然有了點變化...
哈哈 還真玄
我今天終於開始正視自己的心情了
當然昨天說的還是有效囉!
唉~~只能說，要說我完全不難過絕對是在騙人
不過一直難過也不是辦法，你說是吧?
要一直對自己灌輸快樂的觀念~
趕快get it over with，然後開始新的生活吧!!
最近好像很多很多事情都會有改變
不管是我周圍的人事物
還是我自己....
就靜觀其變~期待嶄新的未來!!!
也請你們一起給我意見 期待新的我囉=)?
2009年4月22日 星期三
樹洞
今天洗完澡後
突然~算是覺悟了吧?
要不要繼續沉浸在這種不上不下的情緒
要不要像個傻子一樣做些白癡的舉動
要不要把日子搞得很煎熬
都是我自己做決定！
緣份來來去去~朋友雖喜新仍念舊~
我想該到的船隻就一定會在我的港灣停泊吧!!!
雖然我不知道那艘要出航，那艘會停留?
會停留多久?或離開多久?還會不會再回來?
但只要給我一個眼神的交流
我就會開啟燈塔的訊號
未來的事情會怎麼演變...我不知道
希望誰和誰是怎麼樣的關係...控制不了
唯一我可以做的就是
讓自己快樂且充實地過每一天吧~!!!!!
"希望別人愛你，就要先愛自己"
"要照亮別人，得先讓自己發光"
"當你全心渴望一件事時，整個宇宙都會聯合起來幫助你"
"要怎麼收穫就怎麼栽"
"當你全心充滿愛的時候，不需要刻意去付出也會自然地源源不絕湧出。"
"這世界的愛與快樂是無限而不匱乏的"
加油!!!!!
突然~算是覺悟了吧?
要不要繼續沉浸在這種不上不下的情緒
要不要像個傻子一樣做些白癡的舉動
要不要把日子搞得很煎熬
都是我自己做決定！
緣份來來去去~朋友雖喜新仍念舊~
我想該到的船隻就一定會在我的港灣停泊吧!!!
雖然我不知道那艘要出航，那艘會停留?
會停留多久?或離開多久?還會不會再回來?
但只要給我一個眼神的交流
我就會開啟燈塔的訊號
未來的事情會怎麼演變...我不知道
希望誰和誰是怎麼樣的關係...控制不了
唯一我可以做的就是
讓自己快樂且充實地過每一天吧~!!!!!
"希望別人愛你，就要先愛自己"
"要照亮別人，得先讓自己發光"
"當你全心渴望一件事時，整個宇宙都會聯合起來幫助你"
"要怎麼收穫就怎麼栽"
"當你全心充滿愛的時候，不需要刻意去付出也會自然地源源不絕湧出。"
"這世界的愛與快樂是無限而不匱乏的"
加油!!!!!
2009年4月20日 星期一
ウサギみたいなー
誰かが言ったかもう忘れちゃった
”ウサギは寂し過ぎると死んじゃう”ということ
さびしいです…か？
まぁ ただみんなに振られることを恐れているのかも
今皆はここで一緒に生きていたんだけと、皆はいつかそれぞれの道で自分の未来へ行かなきゃならないでしょう
これを意識してから、なにかがだんだんバラバラなっちゃうと感じます…
時間の立つのは早いのだ…そして誰にも時間止まられないのもよくわかるよ
わかるのに恐れている気持ちはまだ止まらない…
私を”恐れないで勇気を持って”と励ますけど、あまり自信はないよ…
でも頑張るわ。一生懸命大人しくしてみるから心配しないでねｗｗｗ
やはりちょっと残念だと思ったね
いつの間にかこんなにあいつのことが好きになってしまたの？
あいつのせいで、色々なことを悩んでいたし、機嫌もよかったり悪かったりしていたね…
まぁ これもいい結局かも
この機会で自分のきもちといろんな事をよく考えて分かれるべきだろう。
それで、また親友のかんけいなんでしょう？よかったなｗ
でも友たちにいえない事やしてはいけない事はたくさんあるんで、これから私も君に頼らないように自分で頑張りますよ。
いつもお世話になって、アリガト。
絶対に幸せになれ。ふたりともね。
つらいはずなのに
なんかいいことはすぐ来る予感をしていたね★
日本語で何かを書くのは久しぶりですねｗｗｗｗ
なかなかいい感じｗｗ
”ウサギは寂し過ぎると死んじゃう”ということ
さびしいです…か？
まぁ ただみんなに振られることを恐れているのかも
今皆はここで一緒に生きていたんだけと、皆はいつかそれぞれの道で自分の未来へ行かなきゃならないでしょう
これを意識してから、なにかがだんだんバラバラなっちゃうと感じます…
時間の立つのは早いのだ…そして誰にも時間止まられないのもよくわかるよ
わかるのに恐れている気持ちはまだ止まらない…
私を”恐れないで勇気を持って”と励ますけど、あまり自信はないよ…
でも頑張るわ。一生懸命大人しくしてみるから心配しないでねｗｗｗ
やはりちょっと残念だと思ったね
いつの間にかこんなにあいつのことが好きになってしまたの？
あいつのせいで、色々なことを悩んでいたし、機嫌もよかったり悪かったりしていたね…
まぁ これもいい結局かも
この機会で自分のきもちといろんな事をよく考えて分かれるべきだろう。
それで、また親友のかんけいなんでしょう？よかったなｗ
でも友たちにいえない事やしてはいけない事はたくさんあるんで、これから私も君に頼らないように自分で頑張りますよ。
いつもお世話になって、アリガト。
絶対に幸せになれ。ふたりともね。
つらいはずなのに
なんかいいことはすぐ来る予感をしていたね★
日本語で何かを書くのは久しぶりですねｗｗｗｗ
なかなかいい感じｗｗ
2009年4月18日 星期六
2009年4月1日 星期三
改變的力量
前幾天看了一部電影 the fight club
我想整部片的重點或許在於
"改變的力量"
男主角懦弱而無用，從來不覺得自己有改變自己的人生的力量
直到最後才發現...那個改變了自己的人，原來正是自己
想改變現在的人生嗎？
我問我自己快樂嗎？我的嘴角是笑著的
我問我自己對現狀滿意嗎？我挑不出什麼不足的
但我的心卻總是感覺空蕩蕩的
有種一直說不出來的滋味
一直嘗試著要給這種感覺下一個定義
是忌妒嗎？是羨慕嗎？是不安嗎？是恐懼嗎？
我想，是憤怒；一種對自己的憤怒
沒有實現對自己的要求的憤怒
過去和現在已經是改變不了的既定事實；能瞻望的，只有未來。
自己應該是最了解自己的，自己有什麼缺點自己最清楚，該怎麼改進、想成為怎麼樣的人，也只有自己最知道。
不該只想著過去如何如何不好，而是該專注於如何讓自己更好。
改變的力量，只有自己辦得到。
我想整部片的重點或許在於
"改變的力量"
男主角懦弱而無用，從來不覺得自己有改變自己的人生的力量
直到最後才發現...那個改變了自己的人，原來正是自己
想改變現在的人生嗎？
我問我自己快樂嗎？我的嘴角是笑著的
我問我自己對現狀滿意嗎？我挑不出什麼不足的
但我的心卻總是感覺空蕩蕩的
有種一直說不出來的滋味
一直嘗試著要給這種感覺下一個定義
是忌妒嗎？是羨慕嗎？是不安嗎？是恐懼嗎？
我想，是憤怒；一種對自己的憤怒
沒有實現對自己的要求的憤怒
過去和現在已經是改變不了的既定事實；能瞻望的，只有未來。
自己應該是最了解自己的，自己有什麼缺點自己最清楚，該怎麼改進、想成為怎麼樣的人，也只有自己最知道。
不該只想著過去如何如何不好，而是該專注於如何讓自己更好。
改變的力量，只有自己辦得到。
2009年3月30日 星期一
ok so what are you trying to say now?
你說這話是什麼意思你?????
對嘛 反正我就是loser 就是沒朋友 行了嗎?
你就最了不起啦 人見人愛
大家都搶著要跟你hangout 是不是還要預約?
這樣講你高興了嗎?
又沒有人勉強你要跟我做朋友
是在跩什麼?啊???
當初真是瞎了狗眼才會覺得你不錯
神經病
**********
我以為放了一個spring break之後
我可以Start off completely new...like, with no stress
but I don't know...stress somehow manage to get back to me so soon...
然後臨界點到了 只不過是一句話就讓我引爆
i know i'm probably over-reacting
但我想了太多次一樣的事情 想了太多次什麼都沒改變的事情
理智的那一面
我幾乎可說恨你入骨了 you know?
對嘛 反正我就是loser 就是沒朋友 行了嗎?
你就最了不起啦 人見人愛
大家都搶著要跟你hangout 是不是還要預約?
這樣講你高興了嗎?
又沒有人勉強你要跟我做朋友
是在跩什麼?啊???
當初真是瞎了狗眼才會覺得你不錯
神經病
**********
我以為放了一個spring break之後
我可以Start off completely new...like, with no stress
but I don't know...stress somehow manage to get back to me so soon...
然後臨界點到了 只不過是一句話就讓我引爆
i know i'm probably over-reacting
但我想了太多次一樣的事情 想了太多次什麼都沒改變的事情
理智的那一面
我幾乎可說恨你入骨了 you know?
2009年3月29日 星期日
spring break is over~
ok...so where did i leave off last time? wednesday? okay
went to milbrae, intended to go to sushi sam, but since ariel was not awake yet thomas and i just ate at their restaurant
its goood :D:D:D
他們的媽咪好cutee~~~ <3
and afterward......too many small things not worth mention, but basically i fell asleep on their sofa...hahahahahahaha seems like i always fell asleep at their house XDD
so around evening, we finally headed off to do something fun...
so we just hang around milpitas (spelling?) and i just realized i actually has been to milpitas and cupertino before....
i thought its like. really really really far from fremont.............hahahaha like in middle of nowhere
i actually went to those two places pretty often when 我爸來美國出差住在fremont朋友家的時候....
I WAS SHOCKED BY THIS FACT!!!
i was like "whattt are you kidding meee so heree is milpitas??? wait is this the place you can get 鐵板燒??"
"uh. it's cupertino i think."
"WHATTTTTT that's cupertino?????"
SO. 我終究還是可以算是個北加人吧!!! 哈哈哈 別再說我是假北加人囉!!! I just didnt know the name of those places!!!!
and since we couldnt find anything to do (每個人都死去哪囉) we just hanged aroudn there...
hahaha oh i bought three books.....only one of them is random (i think)
hahahahahahahahaha超好笑的我都覺得公開很丟臉
if you don't know about it and you are interested in knowing what's funny about it... 偷偷來問我吧哈哈哈我超樂意分享 簡直笑壞我的毛
then thomas got his haircut
and we, though didnt feel the desire to eat, ate at the place called royal bistro
NEVER GO THEREEEEE
hahahahahahahhhah its pretty baddd.
went to cosco with 阿姨~~ and i finally got my gummy vitamins!!!! yayyyy i got two huge bottles of them yay yay yay 我得救了 hahahaha
then afterward...i played wii fit and rock band with my cousin michael hahaha and without me even noticing its almost 1 already....
wii fit 超‧好‧玩！！somehow i got really good balance in the yoga part (yoga master yo!!), but i just suck at those balancing games....whyyyy? and 我真的是很認真的照著上面說的去運動....都沒作弊的...as a result, my muscles hurt like $#&^%%# today T_____T
oh and. lots of spiders in my room. 我超佩服我自己 how can i fall asleep when i know there's a spider on my wall and one under my bed?????
在Bart上真的是完全by coinsidence...met 大姐and hansheng
and we waited at their restaurant again..chatting with daphne haha and sharing my vitamin bears woot woot
whats next...oh we tried a new 川菜restaurant and...unfortunately...it's not good. =/
then went to get thomas' car. got ready (almost fell asleep on the sofa again!! 超級舒服的沙發omg) and we headed off =)
first stop was togo at sushi sam!!!!!!! yayyy spider roll NOMNOMNOMNOM
ok so...就是開車了
辛苦thomas囉~~~雖然有Cruise control. 但開車真的很辛苦
oh and i dont know why. we some how. just. counldnt find the song we wanna listen...and the gps system seems to like playing the same set of songs -.-
we stopped by rowland and ate @ garden with connie :D:D:D
and..............
for some reason....we all got very excited and i started a weird dance hahaha its called that rapper dance. 這也請私底下來問我 muahahahaha
and. i'm really really sure now that i can never hide secrets....
or more its like. i can never hide the secrets that i don't really plan to hide anyways =P
so we got home...(中間還經歷一段油只剩一格的焦慮時期 hoho)
tireedddd
but soooo happyyyyy =)))))
these past 8 days were fantastic!!!!!!!!!!
我覺得我被治癒了哈哈
聽說SD的大家都在改掉罵髒話的習慣
跟零分住的時候我也都沒說髒話
住在阿姨家裏的時候當然也沒罵髒話
oh well 跟表弟聊天的時候不小心罵了幾個英文的
不過我這幾天幾乎完全沒有罵髒話喔!!!!!!
我覺得我變得超有氣質的啦哈哈哈(最好是)
這樣不會輸ㄋㄟ~~ 哈哈哈哈
i'm like in love with the lyrics...a lot of time i feel the same~
and i love like. how he makes the sad thing sounds so happy and bright...
just like 許仁杰's 忘了說愛你!!
不再多說什麼...跟大家分享歌詞吧~!!!
猜猜誰讓你的心痛
誰讓你的淚流
我能做什麼
輕輕安慰你的心痛
吹乾你的傷口
自己痛卻不能說出口
相遇的不是時候
為何我在他之後
只能當你的聽眾
談心的朋友
想哭的不是時候
總在你受傷之後
我的淚留著以後再說
女孩別哭 有什麼難過對我說
女孩別哭 我不願看見你淚流
忍住淚 就算一輩子我只能做你的朋友
女孩別哭 有眼淚讓我為你流
- 3/26 THURSDAY
went to milbrae, intended to go to sushi sam, but since ariel was not awake yet thomas and i just ate at their restaurant
its goood :D:D:D
他們的媽咪好cutee~~~ <3
and afterward......too many small things not worth mention, but basically i fell asleep on their sofa...hahahahahahaha seems like i always fell asleep at their house XDD
so around evening, we finally headed off to do something fun...
so we just hang around milpitas (spelling?) and i just realized i actually has been to milpitas and cupertino before....
i thought its like. really really really far from fremont.............hahahaha like in middle of nowhere
i actually went to those two places pretty often when 我爸來美國出差住在fremont朋友家的時候....
I WAS SHOCKED BY THIS FACT!!!
i was like "whattt are you kidding meee so heree is milpitas??? wait is this the place you can get 鐵板燒??"
"uh. it's cupertino i think."
"WHATTTTTT that's cupertino?????"
SO. 我終究還是可以算是個北加人吧!!! 哈哈哈 別再說我是假北加人囉!!! I just didnt know the name of those places!!!!
and since we couldnt find anything to do (每個人都死去哪囉) we just hanged aroudn there...
hahaha oh i bought three books.....only one of them is random (i think)
hahahahahahahahaha超好笑的我都覺得公開很丟臉
if you don't know about it and you are interested in knowing what's funny about it... 偷偷來問我吧哈哈哈我超樂意分享 簡直笑壞我的毛
then thomas got his haircut
and we, though didnt feel the desire to eat, ate at the place called royal bistro
NEVER GO THEREEEEE
hahahahahahahhhah its pretty baddd.
- 3/27 FRIDAY
went to cosco with 阿姨~~ and i finally got my gummy vitamins!!!! yayyyy i got two huge bottles of them yay yay yay 我得救了 hahahaha
then afterward...i played wii fit and rock band with my cousin michael hahaha and without me even noticing its almost 1 already....
wii fit 超‧好‧玩！！somehow i got really good balance in the yoga part (yoga master yo!!), but i just suck at those balancing games....whyyyy? and 我真的是很認真的照著上面說的去運動....都沒作弊的...as a result, my muscles hurt like $#&^%%# today T_____T
oh and. lots of spiders in my room. 我超佩服我自己 how can i fall asleep when i know there's a spider on my wall and one under my bed?????
- 3/28 SATURDAY
在Bart上真的是完全by coinsidence...met 大姐and hansheng
and we waited at their restaurant again..chatting with daphne haha and sharing my vitamin bears woot woot
whats next...oh we tried a new 川菜restaurant and...unfortunately...it's not good. =/
then went to get thomas' car. got ready (almost fell asleep on the sofa again!! 超級舒服的沙發omg) and we headed off =)
first stop was togo at sushi sam!!!!!!! yayyy spider roll NOMNOMNOMNOM
ok so...就是開車了
辛苦thomas囉~~~雖然有Cruise control. 但開車真的很辛苦
oh and i dont know why. we some how. just. counldnt find the song we wanna listen...and the gps system seems to like playing the same set of songs -.-
we stopped by rowland and ate @ garden with connie :D:D:D
and..............
for some reason....we all got very excited and i started a weird dance hahaha its called that rapper dance. 這也請私底下來問我 muahahahaha
and. i'm really really sure now that i can never hide secrets....
or more its like. i can never hide the secrets that i don't really plan to hide anyways =P
so we got home...(中間還經歷一段油只剩一格的焦慮時期 hoho)
tireedddd
but soooo happyyyyy =)))))
these past 8 days were fantastic!!!!!!!!!!
我覺得我被治癒了哈哈
- BTW #1
聽說SD的大家都在改掉罵髒話的習慣
跟零分住的時候我也都沒說髒話
住在阿姨家裏的時候當然也沒罵髒話
oh well 跟表弟聊天的時候不小心罵了幾個英文的
不過我這幾天幾乎完全沒有罵髒話喔!!!!!!
我覺得我變得超有氣質的啦哈哈哈(最好是)
這樣不會輸ㄋㄟ~~ 哈哈哈哈
- BTW# 2
i'm like in love with the lyrics...a lot of time i feel the same~
and i love like. how he makes the sad thing sounds so happy and bright...
just like 許仁杰's 忘了說愛你!!
不再多說什麼...跟大家分享歌詞吧~!!!
猜猜誰讓你的心痛
誰讓你的淚流
我能做什麼
輕輕安慰你的心痛
吹乾你的傷口
自己痛卻不能說出口
相遇的不是時候
為何我在他之後
只能當你的聽眾
談心的朋友
想哭的不是時候
總在你受傷之後
我的淚留著以後再說
女孩別哭 有什麼難過對我說
女孩別哭 我不願看見你淚流
忍住淚 就算一輩子我只能做你的朋友
女孩別哭 有眼淚讓我為你流
2009年3月26日 星期四
a new start~
so...basically, I spent today as a high school student...wooot
went to a few classes LOLLL i don't even know why. but it's kind of fun
yeah so thats basically it =p
i chatted with hanna before going to bed and woke up at 7:30 (woow) so that i can catch the breakfast time (but it's still crappy anyway...)
went to SF to have korean bbq with thomas, ariel, alex, jerry, jen and her brother
nomnomnomnom~~~!!
i'm tired....
i will write more about today in the future...maybe~
===========================
會感覺怪怪的是因為在乎
不過~ 就算自己在那邊難過又能怎樣，又不是我能改變的事(聳肩)
去掌握和改變自己所能夠改變的
不能改變的就大方接受吧
最重要的是充實自己
有一個美好的自己之後才能夠擁有美好的事物 也才能帶給別人美好的事物嘛=)
btw
終於受不了自己動手剪了齊瀏海
耶好久不見的妹妹頭終於回來了~~~
went to a few classes LOLLL i don't even know why. but it's kind of fun
yeah so thats basically it =p
i chatted with hanna before going to bed and woke up at 7:30 (woow) so that i can catch the breakfast time (but it's still crappy anyway...)
went to SF to have korean bbq with thomas, ariel, alex, jerry, jen and her brother
nomnomnomnom~~~!!
i'm tired....
i will write more about today in the future...maybe~
===========================
會感覺怪怪的是因為在乎
不過~ 就算自己在那邊難過又能怎樣，又不是我能改變的事(聳肩)
去掌握和改變自己所能夠改變的
不能改變的就大方接受吧
最重要的是充實自己
有一個美好的自己之後才能夠擁有美好的事物 也才能帶給別人美好的事物嘛=)
btw
終於受不了自己動手剪了齊瀏海
耶好久不見的妹妹頭終於回來了~~~
2009年3月24日 星期二
one night in SD
today I visited my high school in San Anselmo...(a place that nobody really knows)
I woke up really early (for me) today..around 9:30? yap i'm proud of myself indeed =)
went to take bart, met up with lisa and jacky, headed off to san rafael on the pass (while we were playing random 文字接龍)
we went to sushi to dai for first....and something funny happened
cuz we were trying to go there by cab...and the driver was like, 'uh sushi to dai for is actually only a block away' and staring at us with a weird look...
hahaha so embarassing...
sushi to dai for was good as always =)
then its time to visit our lovely campus =) well its not like. lovely lovely. but its a place full of memories !!!
i love how every girls (even some teachers) were like gasping and screaming when they see us visiting =)!!! i love that feeling !!!!! feel like im part of the big family...揪感心~!!!
after school is over, i went around checking out student council meeting, badminton practice and musical practice....then just hanged with hanna in her room and ate her scoop icecreammm nomnomnomnom
the dinner.....im glad that they had required dinner today so i actually got to experience the prayer again& and see all the resident girls & experience the birthday song ritual & listen to the annoying announcements again =)!!
and i got convinced to stay over for one night...so now i'm in hanna's room using her laptop =p
woooooot!!!!! i love the dorms!!!
well...those rules suck. but. i love the feeling of being close with everyone =)
....i miss my 08 seniors =(=(((
okayyy i will stop here!!! hanna and i are trying to figure out what 台中腔 is...cuz we realized both of us have 台中腔= =
I woke up really early (for me) today..around 9:30? yap i'm proud of myself indeed =)
went to take bart, met up with lisa and jacky, headed off to san rafael on the pass (while we were playing random 文字接龍)
we went to sushi to dai for first....and something funny happened
cuz we were trying to go there by cab...and the driver was like, 'uh sushi to dai for is actually only a block away' and staring at us with a weird look...
hahaha so embarassing...
sushi to dai for was good as always =)
then its time to visit our lovely campus =) well its not like. lovely lovely. but its a place full of memories !!!
i love how every girls (even some teachers) were like gasping and screaming when they see us visiting =)!!! i love that feeling !!!!! feel like im part of the big family...揪感心~!!!
after school is over, i went around checking out student council meeting, badminton practice and musical practice....then just hanged with hanna in her room and ate her scoop icecreammm nomnomnomnom
the dinner.....im glad that they had required dinner today so i actually got to experience the prayer again& and see all the resident girls & experience the birthday song ritual & listen to the annoying announcements again =)!!
and i got convinced to stay over for one night...so now i'm in hanna's room using her laptop =p
woooooot!!!!! i love the dorms!!!
well...those rules suck. but. i love the feeling of being close with everyone =)
....i miss my 08 seniors =(=(((
okayyy i will stop here!!! hanna and i are trying to figure out what 台中腔 is...cuz we realized both of us have 台中腔= =
2009年3月23日 星期一
Spring Break!!
it's been a little while since my last post. oh well. it's just 4 days LOL but it seems long enough to me. Now I have some free time before heading out so I will try to remember what happened the past days. well it's gonna be a little bit like 流水帳 since its basically just a record of my life. but. whatever. haha.
i crash at around 5:30...with the guys still playing NBA 2K9...
when i woke up at 7 something, the "party" is over and connie, thomas and I went to muir for breakfast burrito =p
then i went back to my room, showered and crashed again...
when time i woke up...it's 6pm alreadyX___X
dinner with jen and frances, and cuz we were too bored, we started going to random places like target and walmart....LOL WTF right?
then tea...basically just reading comic books there. 怪醫美女Ray lol it's intense.
without a reason i visited thomas' house again...and started sorting all the "apples-to-apples" cards... and i finally finished sorting them!! woooot feel so accomplished.
after we walked priss home, thomas and I were trying to find some where to just have a drink and chill...after walking all the way to ralph's plaza, we realized pretty much everything was closed.... OH and we met JLo at ralph's =) congrats on graduating man!!
so. last resort...we headed out to campus BK LOL and we saw kevin yang there...i saw that guy almost everywhere....
then we talked about random things. hahahahha. but it's a pretty meaningful night to me=)
had a brunch with tim then headed out to the SDSU TWSA flea market with thomas and tiff =)
the campus was far and confusing X___X
we asked four ppl for direction to ISC. and we got four different answers. LOL
I bought a bunch of random old magazines for $1....haha i guess i might be the only person buying them. oh well XD
thomas played darts for us so we got jerry and niggwan (two stick horses =D)!!!! yayy they are cute LOL
afterwards dennis joined us and we went to tapex for some snack...since we had to spend the time before dinner, we went on a random adventure on ENGINEER'S STREET and ZION.....(or road? i dont remember) it's creepy!!!!!!! IT IS SOOO CREEPY NEVER GO ON THAT STREET ALONE....
so so. dinner with bunch of ppl @重慶巴人 cuz debbie visited SD for the weekend =)
its great =) i won't go on with details here cuz i dont really remember.......LOL
party @ sam's afterward.
there's A LOT OF PPL...woooot
play a round of king's cup. its intenseee X____X they used a 臉盆 like thingy for the kings cup...and there's only 3 cards to draw when its my turn X___X thomas got the last king which was also the last card =O= odds.
so we decided to stop drinking and started singing using sam's professional stereo :D:D
wooot.
we stopped by rowland to have dinner with connie and her parents =)
after we got off highway...since we didnt konw where to go for dinner, we just drove to connie's house LOL its funny that we know that place so well!!!
so like. we called connie..."where are you guys?" we are in front of your house. "WHATTT?!!!"
hahahah we succeeded =)
we went to ninja sushi for dinner. the chirashi sushi there was sooooo goooood!!!!! im so gonna post the picture later. IT'S HEAVENNN!!
不太好意思給人家請這麼貴的東西
謝謝林爸爸的好意囉!!! 實在是盛情難卻=)=)/////
then we went to 可加麗 for shaved ice=) eating ice in a cold weather=best thing ever!!! oh btw there were three kids dancing...(random) haha. hahahaha.
ok so we finally got on our way to norcal!!! WOOOOT!!
we figured out how to use cruise control only after we got off central......
and thomas got addicted to using cruise control even in local. LOLLL don't be so lazyyy!!!!!!
crashed at thomas and ariel's place =)
i planned to wake up around 10...but i ended up waking up at. around 1 or two? lol
we went to crepevine for lunch w/ khunther and eddie
it was fun listening to their conversation...LOL
then we went to find 糖炒栗子 that ariel has been craving for
nomnomnomnom sooo goooood
after that we were trying to find something to do..but the people we called either didnt pick up their phones or werent even up in norcal.....oh well. so we headed back.
thats basically it.
jen and i headed home on bart...and we met up with hanseng and lisa (and her college friends) on the bart LOL it's kinda random but its cool=)=)
got to my aunt's home, and helped my cousin with his chinese essay...
sigh. sigh sigh sigh. my cousins were complaining that it's very hard for them to learn chinese.
well...if they like to sing K just like connie. i believe they are gonna learn chinese really fast !!! LOLL i love you connie. you are like. ABC的奇蹟. LOLLL
and i just learned that none of the chinese girl in SD (as of my high school) got in to UCSD next year =[
since i decided i want to 保養我的身體, i went to bed "relatively" early =) yayy.
oh.
and i had a weird dream again. darn it. but its funny tho LOL
hope everyone is enjoy his/her spring break =) !!!
- 3/19
i crash at around 5:30...with the guys still playing NBA 2K9...
when i woke up at 7 something, the "party" is over and connie, thomas and I went to muir for breakfast burrito =p
then i went back to my room, showered and crashed again...
when time i woke up...it's 6pm alreadyX___X
dinner with jen and frances, and cuz we were too bored, we started going to random places like target and walmart....LOL WTF right?
then tea...basically just reading comic books there. 怪醫美女Ray lol it's intense.
without a reason i visited thomas' house again...and started sorting all the "apples-to-apples" cards... and i finally finished sorting them!! woooot feel so accomplished.
after we walked priss home, thomas and I were trying to find some where to just have a drink and chill...after walking all the way to ralph's plaza, we realized pretty much everything was closed.... OH and we met JLo at ralph's =) congrats on graduating man!!
so. last resort...we headed out to campus BK LOL and we saw kevin yang there...i saw that guy almost everywhere....
then we talked about random things. hahahahha. but it's a pretty meaningful night to me=)
- 3/20
had a brunch with tim then headed out to the SDSU TWSA flea market with thomas and tiff =)
the campus was far and confusing X___X
we asked four ppl for direction to ISC. and we got four different answers. LOL
I bought a bunch of random old magazines for $1....haha i guess i might be the only person buying them. oh well XD
thomas played darts for us so we got jerry and niggwan (two stick horses =D)!!!! yayy they are cute LOL
afterwards dennis joined us and we went to tapex for some snack...since we had to spend the time before dinner, we went on a random adventure on ENGINEER'S STREET and ZION.....(or road? i dont remember) it's creepy!!!!!!! IT IS SOOO CREEPY NEVER GO ON THAT STREET ALONE....
so so. dinner with bunch of ppl @重慶巴人 cuz debbie visited SD for the weekend =)
its great =) i won't go on with details here cuz i dont really remember.......LOL
party @ sam's afterward.
there's A LOT OF PPL...woooot
play a round of king's cup. its intenseee X____X they used a 臉盆 like thingy for the kings cup...and there's only 3 cards to draw when its my turn X___X thomas got the last king which was also the last card =O= odds.
so we decided to stop drinking and started singing using sam's professional stereo :D:D
wooot.
- 3/21
we stopped by rowland to have dinner with connie and her parents =)
after we got off highway...since we didnt konw where to go for dinner, we just drove to connie's house LOL its funny that we know that place so well!!!
so like. we called connie..."where are you guys?" we are in front of your house. "WHATTT?!!!"
hahahah we succeeded =)
we went to ninja sushi for dinner. the chirashi sushi there was sooooo goooood!!!!! im so gonna post the picture later. IT'S HEAVENNN!!
不太好意思給人家請這麼貴的東西
謝謝林爸爸的好意囉!!! 實在是盛情難卻=)=)/////
then we went to 可加麗 for shaved ice=) eating ice in a cold weather=best thing ever!!! oh btw there were three kids dancing...(random) haha. hahahaha.
ok so we finally got on our way to norcal!!! WOOOOT!!
we figured out how to use cruise control only after we got off central......
and thomas got addicted to using cruise control even in local. LOLLL don't be so lazyyy!!!!!!
crashed at thomas and ariel's place =)
- 3/22
i planned to wake up around 10...but i ended up waking up at. around 1 or two? lol
we went to crepevine for lunch w/ khunther and eddie
it was fun listening to their conversation...LOL
then we went to find 糖炒栗子 that ariel has been craving for
nomnomnomnom sooo goooood
after that we were trying to find something to do..but the people we called either didnt pick up their phones or werent even up in norcal.....oh well. so we headed back.
thats basically it.
jen and i headed home on bart...and we met up with hanseng and lisa (and her college friends) on the bart LOL it's kinda random but its cool=)=)
got to my aunt's home, and helped my cousin with his chinese essay...
sigh. sigh sigh sigh. my cousins were complaining that it's very hard for them to learn chinese.
well...if they like to sing K just like connie. i believe they are gonna learn chinese really fast !!! LOLL i love you connie. you are like. ABC的奇蹟. LOLLL
and i just learned that none of the chinese girl in SD (as of my high school) got in to UCSD next year =[
since i decided i want to 保養我的身體, i went to bed "relatively" early =) yayy.
oh.
and i had a weird dream again. darn it. but its funny tho LOL
hope everyone is enjoy his/her spring break =) !!!
2009年3月18日 星期三
打完收工!!
今天下午考完calc之後...
我的winter quarter也算是和平落幕了~???
在考math的時候我的腦子整個就是在大放屁XDDDD
(=my brain majorly farted)
考完出來檢查才發現背錯了好多formula~>_< 就都差那麼一點點兒...
果然顧此失彼 有一好沒兩好!!!
這quarter雖然physics進步很多 (i got an A- yay)
相對地其他科目花的時間就不夠了
I guess i just really need to put more time in studying~~(and clarice laughs when she sees me typing this line....>O<)
雖然很懊悔，不過也已經無濟於事了~~
最多能做的就是祈禱吧!!!!希望curve之後至少還可以有個B!!
所以晚上就在Thomas家吃Connie&Thomas包的高級水餃&pizza&喝個不醉不歸XDDD!!!!!!(靠ㄅ混蛋
((完全沒有檢討的意思就對了
一點點小酒的確會讓人忘記煩惱=P...
媽媽對不起我學壞了:$:$:$(靠ㄅ
and...
oh we watched a totally random movie..its called. uh. tropic thunder?
it's the most "wtf" movie i've ever watched........
(clarice said "burn after reading" is even more a "wtf" movie)
((the only thing i know about "burn after reading" is that the word clusterfuck comes from that movie...))
(((I know my mind is currupted by...*cough thomas cough connie*)))
after that thomas and jerry played the NBA game thingy
then alex and sam started playing resident evil 5..
then i fell asleep...thank to the alcohol i consumed =/
*
but then like. after i woke up... I am not that mad at myself anymore
i have next quarter still!!!
i learned that i have to work harder this quarter after fall quarter, and i guess i just need to work even harder!!!!!!!!!
i'm glad that i realized this kinda early enough in my college career...
so i still have enough time to imporve my GPA =/
damnnnn i fucking need a 3.6 or something better...!!!!
((and that means...i have to mostly As in the future =/ ewww i hate my life...))
gonna be a nerd next quarter yo !!
..... or maybe when we get into 3rd week =p?
hey hey connie 說好喽 Geisel every week day yeah yeah???? =)
okay everyone!!!
we got fucked enough ...
let's party it up and enjoy a well-deserved spring break!!!
woooooot norcal here i come!!!!
我的winter quarter也算是和平落幕了~???
在考math的時候我的腦子整個就是在大放屁XDDDD
(=my brain majorly farted)
考完出來檢查才發現背錯了好多formula~>_< 就都差那麼一點點兒...
果然顧此失彼 有一好沒兩好!!!
這quarter雖然physics進步很多 (i got an A- yay)
相對地其他科目花的時間就不夠了
I guess i just really need to put more time in studying~~(and clarice laughs when she sees me typing this line....>O<)
雖然很懊悔，不過也已經無濟於事了~~
最多能做的就是祈禱吧!!!!希望curve之後至少還可以有個B!!
所以晚上就在Thomas家吃Connie&Thomas包的高級水餃&pizza&喝個不醉不歸XDDD!!!!!!(靠ㄅ混蛋
((完全沒有檢討的意思就對了
一點點小酒的確會讓人忘記煩惱=P...
媽媽對不起我學壞了:$:$:$(靠ㄅ
and...
oh we watched a totally random movie..its called. uh. tropic thunder?
it's the most "wtf" movie i've ever watched........
(clarice said "burn after reading" is even more a "wtf" movie)
((the only thing i know about "burn after reading" is that the word clusterfuck comes from that movie...))
(((I know my mind is currupted by...*cough thomas cough connie*)))
after that thomas and jerry played the NBA game thingy
then alex and sam started playing resident evil 5..
then i fell asleep...thank to the alcohol i consumed =/
*
but then like. after i woke up... I am not that mad at myself anymore
i have next quarter still!!!
i learned that i have to work harder this quarter after fall quarter, and i guess i just need to work even harder!!!!!!!!!
i'm glad that i realized this kinda early enough in my college career...
so i still have enough time to imporve my GPA =/
damnnnn i fucking need a 3.6 or something better...!!!!
((and that means...i have to mostly As in the future =/ ewww i hate my life...))
gonna be a nerd next quarter yo !!
..... or maybe when we get into 3rd week =p?
hey hey connie 說好喽 Geisel every week day yeah yeah???? =)
okay everyone!!!
we got fucked enough ...
let's party it up and enjoy a well-deserved spring break!!!
woooooot norcal here i come!!!!
2009年3月16日 星期一
TWO DOWN★
兩個Final結束囉★
這兩天運氣好像變好了~揪咪^.<
考完試的心情很輕鬆
不過剛才發生個讓人很wtf 但還滿好笑的小插曲...
就有個人 我才剛上線就馬上(真的是馬上)敲我說要開webcam
反正看一下又不會死(?)
然後又不知道是有什麼事這麼急(?(根本就沒熟到可以有急事的地步)我就按接受了
結果咧結果咧~接果咧接郭咧？
那位老兄就自顧自地在那裡打電動啊啊啊
還問我說"Hey what are you doing? why are you not talking?"
uh.......CUZ I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL TO SAY?
我是有跟你很熟嗎XDD
後來想說啊反正是在南加的人就問一下casino dance好了
結果咧結果咧~接果咧接郭咧？
在那邊給我嫌說SD很遠
最好是啦!!!從LA開下來也頂多兩個小時你當我沒去過LA噢
然後我就去做我自己的事他打他的電動
過了幾分鐘 "oh shit~my friend is gonna come over...I guess I will talk to you later"
沒關係不用later了 it's okay~~~
誰可以告訴我以上這段事件到底有什麼意義........
我覺得我是不是只有吸引怪人的體質啊(掩面)
是說那種"發生了某件事馬上就想要跟那個人講"的想法
真的是只有好朋友才行啊~~~
就像是好久不見的朋友只要一見面就會迫不及待想要把沒見面的時候發生的所有事情一口氣講完的感覺一樣~
(以上那句句子好長)
((↑無聊))
這兩天運氣好像變好了~揪咪^.<
考完試的心情很輕鬆
不過剛才發生個讓人很wtf 但還滿好笑的小插曲...
就有個人 我才剛上線就馬上(真的是馬上)敲我說要開webcam
反正看一下又不會死(?)
然後又不知道是有什麼事這麼急(?(根本就沒熟到可以有急事的地步)我就按接受了
結果咧結果咧~接果咧接郭咧？
那位老兄就自顧自地在那裡打電動啊啊啊
還問我說"Hey what are you doing? why are you not talking?"
uh.......CUZ I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL TO SAY?
我是有跟你很熟嗎XDD
後來想說啊反正是在南加的人就問一下casino dance好了
結果咧結果咧~接果咧接郭咧？
在那邊給我嫌說SD很遠
最好是啦!!!從LA開下來也頂多兩個小時你當我沒去過LA噢
然後我就去做我自己的事他打他的電動
過了幾分鐘 "oh shit~my friend is gonna come over...I guess I will talk to you later"
沒關係不用later了 it's okay~~~
誰可以告訴我以上這段事件到底有什麼意義........
我覺得我是不是只有吸引怪人的體質啊(掩面)
是說那種"發生了某件事馬上就想要跟那個人講"的想法
真的是只有好朋友才行啊~~~
就像是好久不見的朋友只要一見面就會迫不及待想要把沒見面的時候發生的所有事情一口氣講完的感覺一樣~
(以上那句句子好長)
((↑無聊))
2009年3月14日 星期六
a few lines of my thoughts...
I feel blue now due to finals...
perhaps?
***CASE A***
...
如果你是個討人厭的傢伙
或許我就可以碎嘴 就不會難過
但問題就在於你很好
而我很喜歡你
***CASE B***
...
因為很感激 因為我知道我很依賴有他在的生活
所以我當然希望我也能是他信賴的朋友
有些朋友是 就算我忙到死 忙到肝爆掉 我也一定會抽時間陪他們喝茶
我希望他知道 他是這種朋友......
***CASE C***
...
連朋友我都會忌妒亂吃醋
我還真無聊
不過你們知道嗎
我不是對每個人都如此神經兮兮
會難過是因為我很在乎
...
你不可能在每個人的生命中當主角
不可能住在每個人的心中
...
只希望你們也可以愛我而已
因為我好愛你們 愛到不知所措
***CASE D***
...
說真的 真的千錯萬錯都是自己的錯
"心想事成 自作自受"
***CASE E***
有時候感覺到了一種程度
反而會變成憤怒
我討厭每次看到你 你總是一臉開心的樣子
我討厭你那種好像胸有成竹的笑容
憑什麼我要因為對你無聊的感覺而煩惱
被惱人的夢纏身
...
我知道是自己的想法煞不住車 都是我在那邊想太多
所以我決定什麼都不要想了
以後也不要再留言給你
也不要再msn你了
也不要再邀你了
什麼我都不要了
直到我忘記這些感情的錯覺直到我沒有感覺為止
***CASE F***
明明這麼喜歡你們
為什麼總是無法傳達?
對不起 我不會說愛
愛這個字 我從來說不出口
但我可以用行動來表示
希望你們能明白..........
perhaps?
***CASE A***
...
如果你是個討人厭的傢伙
或許我就可以碎嘴 就不會難過
但問題就在於你很好
而我很喜歡你
***CASE B***
...
因為很感激 因為我知道我很依賴有他在的生活
所以我當然希望我也能是他信賴的朋友
有些朋友是 就算我忙到死 忙到肝爆掉 我也一定會抽時間陪他們喝茶
我希望他知道 他是這種朋友......
***CASE C***
...
連朋友我都會忌妒亂吃醋
我還真無聊
不過你們知道嗎
我不是對每個人都如此神經兮兮
會難過是因為我很在乎
...
你不可能在每個人的生命中當主角
不可能住在每個人的心中
...
只希望你們也可以愛我而已
因為我好愛你們 愛到不知所措
***CASE D***
...
說真的 真的千錯萬錯都是自己的錯
"心想事成 自作自受"
***CASE E***
有時候感覺到了一種程度
反而會變成憤怒
我討厭每次看到你 你總是一臉開心的樣子
我討厭你那種好像胸有成竹的笑容
憑什麼我要因為對你無聊的感覺而煩惱
被惱人的夢纏身
...
我知道是自己的想法煞不住車 都是我在那邊想太多
所以我決定什麼都不要想了
以後也不要再留言給你
也不要再msn你了
也不要再邀你了
什麼我都不要了
直到我忘記這些感情的錯覺直到我沒有感覺為止
***CASE F***
明明這麼喜歡你們
為什麼總是無法傳達?
對不起 我不會說愛
愛這個字 我從來說不出口
但我可以用行動來表示
希望你們能明白..........
blog也一整個太多~
所以手癢又開了個blog!!!
因為不想老是在facebook上rant我的college life~
就決定開個blog來碎碎念...=p
so I made myself a list of all the blogs I keep now
just so that I have a sense of how many mess I've already created =p
* wretch: supposely high school stuff... I guess it already expired?
* yam: Taiwan & cosplay related stuff
* facebook: from now on only posts that I would tag people in
* blogspot: college stuff!
+ a random nikki place for the most random ranting...
haha 那就這樣吧
因為不想老是在facebook上rant我的college life~
就決定開個blog來碎碎念...=p
so I made myself a list of all the blogs I keep now
just so that I have a sense of how many mess I've already created =p
* wretch: supposely high school stuff... I guess it already expired?
* yam: Taiwan & cosplay related stuff
* facebook: from now on only posts that I would tag people in
* blogspot: college stuff!
+ a random nikki place for the most random ranting...
haha 那就這樣吧
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