這是一篇很長的blog

i told clarice the other day that eventually i'm gonna blog about self-reflection...
and lots of deeper stuff
but i'm still in the process of trying to figure out what I really want to say and what conclusion that I finally get to...eventually a long (and perhaps organized?) post will come out =P
yeah lots of things...
let me just put down some points down so I won't forget to keep thinking about them in these days!! LOL
*與"自我認知"完全不同的自己: 接受自己的平凡和非凡與自我開發
*"星系理論": 角色認知 (haha i know i always come up with all those weird theory that probably only me can understand...so far i already have 泛舟理論 and 跳樓理論~!!)
*青鳥症候群與建立信心

yesterday I just felt a sudden impulse that I have to spend the time, all by myself, to think about those stuff RIGHT NOW or otherwise I will lose the best chance to challenge myself. well I still somehow let the chance slip. but i believe those ideas will come back to me soon =)

anyways i chose to write some random stuff...
not really related to college life. not something pleasant either haha so yeah you can choose to skip the next seciton.

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昨晚我到了最近的最低潮吧~!
真有種爹不疼娘不愛的感覺
剛msn打出一行字，眼淚就隨著enter鍵掉下來
滿肚子流動的都是委屈
說出來或許幼稚，但的確是我很真實的感受
只要是為了我掏心掏肺的朋友
很多事情我都願意做 都願意冒險
可是我也很需要有人心疼...

我從來就不是一個會隱藏脆弱的人
我也不是一個有本事去強顏歡笑的人
我的脆弱、我的難過、我的七情六慾，全都攤在陽光下
只等著伯樂來抱抱我、拍拍我的頭

一邊流淚一邊告訴自己 要勇敢一點
可是我心裡卻不這麼認為
我想流淚不代表就是不勇敢、不堅強
不去隱藏難過、大方面對悲傷
何嘗又不是一種解脫、一種豁達？
不過我真的還不夠獨立、不夠強壯

一邊聽著鳳凰花開的路口一邊找老朋友聊天
"好久沒打電話聊聊了..."
[我知道你忙啦~!]
"嗯等考完midterms我們好好聊天吧"
[我等你:)]
...
"好久沒打電話給你了"
[你才知道!...你沒事吧?]
"我OK啦:)"
...
"天啊好久不見了!!!!!!"
[真的!!!等你回來!!!快回來!!!!]
...
我要為所有漸行漸遠的關係負責任...重新牽起我們的友誼
腦海中那個鳳凰花開的路口
都有著我最珍惜的老朋友/好朋友...